Wow, long time no post. I feel guilty. And I can't sleep (I seem to have fallen into the habit lately of staying up late (usually so late it's early) and waking up late. And it's not yet that late. So I can't sleep). Hence posting will ensue.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the second time this year, and, contrary to last year, I'm actually doing it! Sort of. I'm consistenly writing now (and yes I do realise that it's only the 5th, and that there's still 25 days left to go, and that all this could change ...) which is good! I'm also consistenly getting each day's word count, which is also good! Unfortunately, I'm getting each day's word count the day after, which is not so good, but tonight I'm sort of hovering between yesterday's and today's wordcounts, so we should get better :). I am also deeply consoled in knowing that sitting on 7400 words (It's actually 7408. You cared about the 8. Right. Right?) I can safely say that I am sitting just under the most I have ever written on one story. Yay for Lindsey!

Actually, that may be a lie. Let me check ... Okay, I didn't lie. Before Alaena, the most I'd written was 6000 words. Spaced out over several years, I'm sure. I know that Alaena took several months to write (because, I'll admit it, I'm extremely lazy). Writing this now, despite the fact I know that a whole lot of it is crap, is good for my brain, and I'm having fun. Which is good, because I've spent a good part of my life thinking I'd like to write for a living one day. Um, yeah, you have to start first. I told you I was lazy. So now I'm just a tad more realistic, and I'm learning along the way. It's also good because save writing and various researchness for this, I'm doing absolutely zilcho with my days. Uni has finished for the semester (for me at least) and I really have nothing to do. Time to get off my ass and do some stuff I think. Catch up on some reading, and devote some real time to art and writing. And when I've finished this novel, it will be the best feeling ever and I will have finished something that I did because I wanted to. Because I started something and I stuck at it. And with any luck, I'll keep the habit up :).


I've also lately come to the realisation of how badly I treat my body. Kudos to my body for sticking around this long though, I would have given up the relationship long ago, and let me explain why. I haven't excercised in years. Slight exaggeration. But it has definitely been over a year since I did decent, consistent, feel good excercise. Poor body. I also eat like crap. Normally I neither notice nor care. Lately though, I've been feeling the crap I eat. So today I ate healthily. And I felt good. And I didn't feel hungry or like I should eat more, which was unexpected (I'm extremely gullible to what my body says it wants. Therefore it wants a big lunch and if we have a small, healthy lunch we are going to starve I tell you, STARVE). Anyhow, I then ruined it by eating chips, BUT ... I didn't really taste them. And I stopped eating them 'cause I felt fat and gross, and that felt good.

What brought this on was not a spontaneous lightbulb of epiphany-ness. Oh noes, it was much more harsh. You see, the weather warmed up. And I wore shorts. Which isn't in itself so bad, 'cause I'm not huge and I don't wear short shorts, but this short wearing caused my to look at myself, and I mean really look at myself, and I've found that I've been kidding myself for a long time. I'm of the midset that if I have a problem and I ignore it, it'll go away. Reality check: No, no it won't. I'm not fat, and I'm not going through some weird teenage mindset of 'OMG I'm so faaaaaaat'. I am squishy and definitely not toned. Cheerfully, it isn't noticable with most clothing. But it's not what I want. I want to wake up in the morning and be able to feel confident in wearing short shorts if I want to. Thankfully, I'm realistic enough to know that it's going to take time and work, and I know where to stop. I also have a fairly good idea of where to start, which is even better. I'm also very attuned to the fact that I need to get fit. Realistically, my first goal is to shift the weight, but I do want to get fit too. I want muscles :). Reading back over this I've realised that I do sound a bit 'teenage girl is doing a 'get thin' fad'. I honestly want to shift weight, but I don't want to be thin. I don't really have the thin mentality. I like food too much. But I do have the plump gene (thanks dad) and it's really not so much about the 'thin' than the 'healthy'. I've forgotten what I was trying to say now but you get the idea. I think. Sorry if any of that was just a little on the too much info side.

Aren't you glad my awesome looniness is back. I know you missed it.

Other random things of note include that I really want to get green and blue streaks in my hair, and in the last day or so I have had an almost overwhelming urge to get dreads and a nose ring. I will definitely get the streaks, and another hole in my left earlobe (I want to be uneven) and I've wanted them for months now. I'm a little scared of dreads however, as my hair is kinda thin when it's not curly, and my father would literally throw me out if I came home with a nose ring. (Okay, maybe not throw me out, but the piercing wouldn't last very long.) These days I'm feeling more and more like I want the independence that would come with moving out, but I really do like it where I am. I just have to (very slowly) bring my parents around to give me a tad more freedom. They are very good about it, considering I'm the eldest (not that I'm totally eccentric or anything ...) but noserings are definitely out of the question for now.

I'm still unhappy with Eye of the Beholder but I think I like it better croped. I'll try to remember to post the picture tomorrow.

I really didn't mean for this to get so long! And I made my parents sound like old conservatives. And me sound much more cool than I really am. But you already know by now that I'm just a big boring fraud. I'm not making any sense anymore and I think I'll go to bed. I'll probably unpost this once I have a chance to look over it in the morning!

• 18:26 Sat in Dymocks today & read 'The Art of Graeme Base'. I love Graeme Base!!
• 18:28 I've had ideas for new arts slowly ticking away in the back of my head for months ... so why do they decide to become reality NOW? :'(

• 08:33 I was having a really cool dream before I woke up ... because for some reason I can't sleep in past 8 :( But it is nice and quiet :)
• 12:31 Wasting time playing Age of Empires .... fun times :)

• 15:03 Despite having thoroughly cleaned under my nails after work, I still find random bits of pastry under my nails hours later.

• 17:38 I've spent almost $800 more than I earned since getting a card O_O. Not not good. And I can only blame ~$100 on textbooks.
• 18:18 I has too many word documents open - oh noes! (It really does not help either that the file names are totally not indicative of the content)

• 17:24 Why is my iPod not connecting to the computer properly?? It says it is, but ... it's not.
• 17:49 Okay .. iPod is frozen and I can't turn it off. The new iPod was supposed to fix iPod related problems. Technology sucks.
• 19:41 Aaand now the iPod is working perfectly fine. Stoopid technology :'( I thought I was rid of the temperamental iPod when I replaced the mini.

• 20:54 Hates interviews. Especially when they aren't scary ... I get nervous anyway *headdesk*
• 22:26 I think the thing about having a lot of things you have to do is that it forces you to organise your time...
• 22:26 ... Hence I get more done when I'm under pressure. Go figure.

• 09:26 Started preping my mask for painting yesterday. A big chunk in the corner fell off whilst I was sanding :(. I ended up leaving it kinda ...
• 09:26 ... lumpy, mostly because it was too much effort to get it smooth. The whole 'aged' look lol. It's now a nice deep red :D

• 18:15 Came home from work and slept for 4 hours. I like my work, but getting up at 6:30 on a Saturday sucks. #